Who's to blame for Christmas trees?

I know what would be a good idea! Kill that tree there, put it in the house, ideally next to the radiator or somewhere nice and snug, after all it's pretty chilly outside. Watch the needles fall off, tidy up around it for a couple of weeks, and then bin it. Ace.

Who's to blame for Christmas stockings?

Not enough room under the tree? We need some pre-present presents to open!

Brussel sprouts!

Damn fine scram Mrs Winkletrimmer, but do you know what? There's one thing that would really top this fine festive feast off. Some brussel sprouts Mrs Winkletrimmer! Yup, sprouts...

Who's responsible for Rudolph's red nose?

Red noses eh? Dead giveaway for a multitude of sins... But Rudolph, saintly Rudolph? What's he been up to?

Who's to blame for elves?

Chirpy, cheeky little fellas beavering away all year to help spread yuletide joy. Bless 'em.

Who's to thank for fairy lights?

Twinkle twinkle, shimmer shimmer... let this tree be no longer dimmer.

Who’s to blame for Christmas cards?

Guilt missives through the letterbox... who the hell is Aunty Doreen? And as for Gladys, thought she passed away back in 2009.

Who's to blame for mince pies?

Bing or Bublé?

Cracking Christmas crooning, cacophany of crap, or something altogether more sinister?...

Frosty the Snowman

Beneath that cold exterior is a warm slushy heart… made of... errm.. more slush!

Jack Frost

Brrrrr, there’s a chill in the air, and it’s you! Cool on the Crimbo cheer and know how…

Grinch

It’s obvious you couldn’t give a monkey’s nuts about Crimbo. That’s right, sod you Santa and all with your seasonal cheer!

Santa’s Little helper

Crikey - move over Tinkerbell. What you don’t know about Xmas ain't worth a know ho ho ho’ing

Santa’s Little helper

Crikey - move over Tinkerbell. What you don’t know about Xmas ain't worth a know ho ho ho’ing